Title: Everything is Going to be Fine
Author: Jemma Rhodes
E-mail: jemme_ring@yahoo.co.uk
Story Status: Complete
Series/Sequel Info: None
Season: Three
Spoilers: Point of View
Categories: Tiny bit of angst, romance, missing scene
Pairings: Sam/Jack
Rating: PG13
Content Warnings: Few swear words but that's about it.
Summary: Sam's feelings at the end of PoV.
Archive Permissions: Wherever I decide to send it!! Anyone else please ask!!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters relating to Stargate. They belong to MGM and any of their associates. I'm just playing around with them for a little while!
File Size: 34 KB
Authors Note: This is my take on Point of View. It's basically what I felt (in my shippy little head!!) should have happened at the end of the episode! Enjoy!!!!!

***

Why was she feeling like this?
Major Sam Carter asked herself this question over and over again in her head as she watched the Colonel kissing her twin. If she didn't have more sense, she'd think that she was jealous.
No more time for feeling feelings and pondering the answers to silly questions though, as the Colonel steps back through the Quantum mirror. As he appears at my side I cast a fleeting glance over at him as the mirror is switched off for the last time. He's avoiding looking at me I can tell. I hope it's because of embarrassment at being caught kissing her. Not that I'm in the least bit envious or anything.

He has begun to order people out of the room, in a not so patient tone of voice. Everyone except for me. Oh god, he's going to try and talk to me about it. I can't. I just can't talk about this with him. Not now, not ever. As he turns to me my fight of flight impulses kick in, only the flight is getting the upper hand. He looks like he's about to speak. Oh god. Say something! Get out of there! Do anything!
"Sorry Colonel, I have work to do."
That's all I say, and then I'm gone, as quickly as humanly possible. As I clear the doorway I hear him call my name but I can't stop now. I keep running until I reach my office, much to the bewilderment of the airmen I pass on the way.

Eventually I reach my office, although it has never seemed further away. I jog in and slam the door shut, leaning against it to catch my breath.
Great, now I'm crying. Sam Carter, USAF does not cry. Except when she's in love with her CO.
Wait…………..oh shit.
In love? Did I really just think that? Where did it come from? How long?
The questions in my head are left unanswered, as there's a gentle knock on the door. The realist in me knows it's the Colonel, so I hastily dry my face on my sleeve and walk over to sit by my worktop. I pick up a doo-hickey, as the Colonel loves to call them and fiddle with it to look busy.
"Come in," I call as normally as possible. The door slowly opens and sure enough, it's the Colonel standing there, and he does not look happy. Probably because I just bordered on insubordination by ignoring him just a few minutes ago. He closes the door behind him and then just stands there looking uncomfortable.

"Colonel, is there something wrong?"
What a feeble question, of course there's something wrong. VERY wrong. He slowly begins walking over to where I'm sitting.
"Err, maybe," is his tense reply.
We stare at each other for a few seconds. I break the intimate moment by swivelling on my chair and picking up some papers in an attempt to keep myself occupied with anything that comes to hand. Then he has to go and ask one of the forbidden questions that he really shouldn't.
"Why did you leave like that?"
"I told you sir, I had work to do."
Out of the corner of my eye I can see him grinning, I just continue to shuffle the papers.
"I'm sorry sir, is something funny?"
I'm throwing up my defences now.
"No, its nothing…. you just don't look very busy…"
"Well I am. I really need to get on with my work. I'm sorry Colonel, could you leave?"

Please please please please leave!! The strain in my voice is becoming more and more obvious.

"I can't do that."
"Why not sir?"
"Because we have things to talk about."

God no! Not the talking! I can't do this. If I do he'll find out I have inappropriate feelings for him and that will be the end of my career. I have to get rid of him, and now!
"There's nothing to talk about Colonel. Now if you don't mind…"
I turn slightly and gesture at the door, hoping he'll take the hint.
"Don't think that your getting rid of me that easily, Carter."
Guess not.

I turn to face him squarely but remain sitting.
"Sir, there is nothing we need to discuss!"
Ok Sam, way to lose the cool calm exterior.
"Really? Then why are you getting so upset?"
"I'm not upset. Just annoyed that you won't leave me in peace so I can actually get on with some work!"
"Then why the hell did you practically run away from me not five minutes ago?"
Oh dear, he's getting mad now. But so am I, which is clouding my own better judgement slightly.
"What? You expected me to hang around and have a conversation about what you were doing for lunch after I'd had to watch you and her!"

The last words out of my mouth came out in an extremely bitter tone of voice which I just know the Colonel picked up on…. cause lets face it, he picks up on everything. He seems to sober slightly at my words, no doubt hearing the hurt behind them.
"Listen, Sam, I know you're feeling weird about this whole twin thing…"
"Weird? Don't even get me started! Do you have any idea what it was like having to watch you kissing…. essentially me?"
Oh god, that's done it. Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut?
"Listen, Major, I know I shouldn't have let it get that far with her, but she's alone now…"
"Well you know what, Colonel," I say as I stand up and face him. "I'm always alone."
There it was. The statement of the year. A stupid one to be saying to your CO, but oh well. At least he understands why I'm so pissed off now.

I don't think he knows what to say. He's just staring at me with those eyes of his, not saying a word.
Aghh, I wish he'd leave. The silence and his eyes penetrating me are nearly killing me. Just turn around and leave Colonel. Just close the door and we'll leave this conversation in this room, never to leave.
Instead he paces forwards the few metres between us and stands right in my personal space, his eyes still boring into mine. I can feel his warm breath caressing my face and it takes all my self-control not to do something that would have me working in a bar for the rest of my life. As he speaks, barely above a whisper, shivers fly up and down the entire length of my body.
"You don't have to be alone anymore."
My eyes close at his words, knowing that as long as I can't be with him I will always be alone. What he says next shocks me even more.
"Be with me."
My eyes fly open and meet his squarely. He's so close but at the same time so far away and unattainable.
"Sir, we can't. The regulations, the work we're doing right now is more important."
"Sam, the work we do is the kind of work where you don't know if you'll be coming back from the assignment you've just been given. Every time we go through that gate that could be it. We could have been sentenced to our last hours alive. We just don't know."
His words hit me with a force unimaginable. It's what I also feel every time we step through the gate.
"What are you saying Sir?"
"That I don't want to go thorough that gate and have regrets about things I never did."

I pull my eyes from his. The intensity of our conversation scares me. It's uncharted territory, and territory we should be leaving well alone. But there's a part of me that wants it so badly. I stare at my feet and continue.
"Sir, I feel the same way but we can't. We'd be thrown out of the Air Force…our careers…"
"Sam, none of that matters…"
He pauses and lifts my chin with his hand gently so I'm looking right into his eyes again.
"When you're in love with someone."
He looks at me as if he's waiting for some kind of response, but what the hell am I supposed to say to that? A crazy notion comes to me though…actions speak louder than words…

Without a second thought I close that miniscule gap between us and closing my eyes, softly and slowly bring my lips to his, giving us both a chance to register what's actually happening. He seems to be coping well so I slip a hand on his neck just to bring us a little closer together and make the kiss just that little bit deeper. In response he slips his arms around my waist and holds me gently.

Wow, this is a good kiss…I've fantasized about kissing Colonel Jack O'Neill, I mean, who hasn't? But it's better than anything you can possibly imagine. A minute or ten after it began it ends. I slowly pull my lips away from his but don't move away from his gentle embrace. Slowly opening my eyes I see his looking at me with just a hint of a smile on his face.
He doesn't seem to want to say anything but the silence is too much for me.
"So, you were saying something about being in love?"
I smile at him as the words pass my lips and he leans forward and whispers in my ear.
"Wonderful isn't it?"
He leans back again to look at me, so I lean forward and whisper in his ear.
"I don't think wonderful quite covers it."
It's my turn to look at him again and when I do we both can't hide the grins plastered across our faces.

I hate to burst the bubble, but there is still a question that needs to be asked and answered before we can go any further.
"Sir, what about the Air Force and General Hammond?"
"Hey, we're his favourite Colonel and Major! What could he possibly have to say against us?"
"Oh I don't know, that we're breaking the fraternisation rule in half by doing what we're doing right now?"
"I'll talk to him, make him see that we can work together normally if we're in a relationship. Hell, I've been working with you having these feelings for at least a year now, so I think we'll cope."
"You've had feelings for me for a year?"
"Sure. Kinda hard not to."
We both smile at his comment, but I return serious once more.
"Sir, tell me that things will be ok?"
He pulls me close and hugs me whilst talking into my hair.
"Things will be fine. I promise you that."
"Thank you."

So we stand there just holding each other for god knows how long. When I'm in the arms of Jack O'Neill everything else just fades away and there's just us.

After a while we part and he leaves to go and talk to the General, but I know that everything is going to be fine.

***

That's it!! Finito!!! Let me know what you think!!

09/08/2002